Three and a half months in...
Days are starting to go by a little faster as I get more used to this place. It’s funny what you can get used to when you have to. I was so afraid of this place when I stepped off that plane and took my first step into Iraq; it’s a very unique experience I must say. Nothing is the way I pictured it and the reality of the situation is far more real.
On the convoy down to FOB St. Michael’s, I rode in a fuel truck filled to the brim with JP8 and all I could think about was what would happen if an IED were to hit our truck. It didn’t help seeing craters from previous explosions all along the road. Somehow, being locked and loaded and ready to go didn’t seem to calm my nerves. I arrived safely on the FOB and quickly tried to make my small place more ‘homey’ by putting up a few pictures and unpacking a few things. I started my job right away on a 12 hour rotating schedule. I began to adapt to my routine as I thought of the year to come. There would be no more trips to Wal-Mart in the middle of the night, no more sleeping on a bed, no more eating at Willies Wienie Wagon (those from Brunswick, GA know what I’m talking about), no more consumption of alcohol, no more safe surroundings, and no more Randy (my husband). Things just got serious.
Everyday seems like the day before it and it’s only because of my job that I can even keep track of the days here. Most of the time I have no idea what is going on outside of this little FOB and I like it this way. For a while I was the radio telephone operator (RTO) for my unit here and it was hell. I was hearing everything that happened outside on our patrols and convoys. Some days were better than others, but the bad days were sometimes very bad and it was hard to fully comprehend that stuff. I just did my job and tried not to think about it too much. I will never take anything for granted anymore. I was glad when they changed some people’s jobs around, I didn’t like knowing everything that happened to our guys out there. Sometimes ignorance can be bliss.
For the people that stay inside the wire, we cannot comprehend many of the things that our guys on patrol must deal with everyday. It’s just like those of you at home will never understand what it’s like here and we will never understand what it’s like to for you being at home worrying about us. It doesn’t matter how well you are able to describe things, it has to do with actually experiencing it. Sometimes I wonder what is the most difficult, putting yourself in danger everyday or having someone you love in danger everyday. Either way, it’s not a pleasant thing and the frustration of the situation is bound to set in pretty quickly. I’m frustrated, my husband is frustrated, and a lot of the guys here I know are frustrated. I can hear it in their voices when they call home. But we’ll be back before too long and then everything will be okay again. But for now, we just keep doing the job that our country is asking us to do and hope that we make a difference here and back home.
On the convoy down to FOB St. Michael’s, I rode in a fuel truck filled to the brim with JP8 and all I could think about was what would happen if an IED were to hit our truck. It didn’t help seeing craters from previous explosions all along the road. Somehow, being locked and loaded and ready to go didn’t seem to calm my nerves. I arrived safely on the FOB and quickly tried to make my small place more ‘homey’ by putting up a few pictures and unpacking a few things. I started my job right away on a 12 hour rotating schedule. I began to adapt to my routine as I thought of the year to come. There would be no more trips to Wal-Mart in the middle of the night, no more sleeping on a bed, no more eating at Willies Wienie Wagon (those from Brunswick, GA know what I’m talking about), no more consumption of alcohol, no more safe surroundings, and no more Randy (my husband). Things just got serious.
Everyday seems like the day before it and it’s only because of my job that I can even keep track of the days here. Most of the time I have no idea what is going on outside of this little FOB and I like it this way. For a while I was the radio telephone operator (RTO) for my unit here and it was hell. I was hearing everything that happened outside on our patrols and convoys. Some days were better than others, but the bad days were sometimes very bad and it was hard to fully comprehend that stuff. I just did my job and tried not to think about it too much. I will never take anything for granted anymore. I was glad when they changed some people’s jobs around, I didn’t like knowing everything that happened to our guys out there. Sometimes ignorance can be bliss.
For the people that stay inside the wire, we cannot comprehend many of the things that our guys on patrol must deal with everyday. It’s just like those of you at home will never understand what it’s like here and we will never understand what it’s like to for you being at home worrying about us. It doesn’t matter how well you are able to describe things, it has to do with actually experiencing it. Sometimes I wonder what is the most difficult, putting yourself in danger everyday or having someone you love in danger everyday. Either way, it’s not a pleasant thing and the frustration of the situation is bound to set in pretty quickly. I’m frustrated, my husband is frustrated, and a lot of the guys here I know are frustrated. I can hear it in their voices when they call home. But we’ll be back before too long and then everything will be okay again. But for now, we just keep doing the job that our country is asking us to do and hope that we make a difference here and back home.
posted by Skullcrush3r at 3:00 PM
2 Comments:
Lauren, A writing well said you are so good. Time is passing but slow some time. God bless my son, you and everyone.Stay safe we love you all. A Calhoun Mother.
Don't really know what to say. You are so appreciated and as I sit here, near tears, in awe I wonder what next year will bring and I pray that this will all be a memory and a lesson learned. Strength to you, chica. May you stay safe and true!
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